I'm back

Sorry for that change, my other blog in English was cool, but this new one is really easier to use and I can manage more things.

About the title, it can sound pretentious (but don’t worry I’m not, I mean I think lol), it’s from the new American TV Show “Gossip Girl”. I love it, and in the opening theme, Gossip Girl says : “Who am I? That’s a secret I’ll never tell, you know you love me, xoxo, Gossip Girl”, so I thought it was fun .

About my surgery (it was on November 15^th), it’s ok. Actually I was surprised because I had so many horrible memories from that hospital … but this time it was fine. I wasn’t such in pain (God bless morphine), at first they had to give me a machine that could have shot me morphine when I pushe a button, but they had no more machine, so, when I was in pain, I asked nurses for a shot of morphine, and in 5 minutes I felt so much better, it’s so cool, but don’t worry I’m not an addict ^^. I was so tired, because of the surgery and all these pills I had to take, that I slept during all my stay in hospital. I lost my appetite for 2 weeks, I think it’s because of the anaesthesia, but it was ok because the food at the hospital was really disgusting, most of the time I ate only bread and a yogurt for each meal. But fortunately, my mom and Céline brought me junk food .

For 2 days, I had a high fever, and the bad thing is when a patient has fever, the nurses have to do a blood test twice in one hour. But when you often have blood tests and shots, the veins hide. So each time they had to do a blood test to me, they stung, but the needle wasn’t in the vein, so the nurse moved the needle in my arm, trying to find my vein, and you can imagine how painful it was. Once, the nurse failed twice before succeeding to do the blood test. After each blood test or shot, I got a bruise. And since I had the surgery, and for two months (until the doctor removes my cast), as I cannot walk at all, I have to get a shot every day to make my blood coagulate. I don’t like blood test very much because sometimes it can be painful, but about the shot, I really don’t care because it’s not painful at all. So in one week in hospital, I got at least 16 stings, between blood tests and shots, I think it’s my record haha! And the funny part is, after having done the blood tests, nobody told me if I had any infection lol, the perfusion I got worked, so I guess the fever was caused by the surgery (and by the fact I was really exhausted).

I know it can sound weird, but I was happy because that time, I wasn’t such in pain (especially if I compare with my other surgeries I got in this hospital), and the nurses were really nicer and also more patient. I was just sick sometimes, because, especially the first days after the surgeries, I needed to rest, and I couldn’t sleep well, because each hour the nurses had to come to check my temperature and my blood pressure (and they were worried because it was very low, but usually I have low blood pressure – that’s why I often have headaches and migraines – so I told them to not worry about it), anyway, it wasn’t their fault because they just did their job, it’s just it doesn’t help when you want to sleep lol.

I wasn’t alone in my room, there was another girl, Linda, she was 22, and when I arrived she’s already had her surgery (of her foot). I never dared to ask which disease she had, because she wasn’t able to talk at all, I don’t know why, and she didn’t use signing, she just made a specific sign with her hands for “yes”, “no”, and “maybe”, and when she wanted something specific, she wrote what she wanted on her Nintendo DS. She was really cool, we communicated a bit and we succeeded to understand each other.

I don’t know what I’ll do if I couldn’t talk, I’m so talkative, talking is such an important thing to me … I feel lucky, because yes I’m sick, and I know there isn't a cure, but finally it’s not so serious when I compare myself with other sick people. There are many things I cannot do, I know that, but I can walk a bit, and even if I have less strength than healthy people, I can move my legs and my arms, and I can use them, and there are also so many things I can do!
That’s why I try not to complain too much. There are so many more miserable people than me …

And I’m so lucky to be surrounded by such wonderful friends! I really want to thank all the people who supported me (and who keep doing it), thank you for all your phone calls, your text messages, your emails, your messages on facebook … It helped me a lot and it means a lot to me!!! I’m nothing without my friends, so I love ya all!!

When I was in hospital, only my mom, Celine and Monique could have visited me, because there was a huge strike of public transportation, no bus, no subway, no train, it was such a mess, and it lasted almost 2 weeks! Fortunately lots of friends have visited me since I got back home. Jaouhara brought me 2 boxes of chocolates (thank u again, they are delicious!!), and my mom bought lots of homemade cakes, so I think I’ll gain 10 kilos by the end of the months haha. No seriously, I’m trying to be reasonable, because as I cannot walk at all, I cannot burn many calories.

Since I’m not allowed to put my foot on the floor, and of course to walk, I have to stay in my room and I cannot do anything by myself. Of course my parents, especially my mom (because my dad works like a dog), are really helpful, but I know it’s disturbing for them, I feel guilty to bother them all the time, but I can’t do anything except saying “thank you” and “sorry”. I’m trying to not ask too much, but in any case, I’m losing my dignity, I’m not going to die for that of course, but I’m looking forward to walking again!!
Five days ago, I went back to the hospital; they removed my stitches and replaced my cast.

The rare moments when I can go out, it’s because of my mom, because we can drive to La Defense, because it’s a huge mall and it’s accessible for wheelchairs, and now there is a big Christmas market, I love it, I love all the stuff about Xmas haha., and I already bought almost all the Xmas gifts for the family. There is also a huge movie theater there, so I saw 4 movies in 2 weeks; 2 french movies: “Ce soir je dorts chez toi” and “L’auberge rouge”, it was fun but they’re not the best movies of the year. I also saw 2 American movies :

- “Enchanted”, the last Disney movie. I loved it, it’s a mix of animation and reality, it’s magical and funny.

- “His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass”, with Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, and Eva Green. I love that sort of movies, it’s the same as Narnia, Harry Potter …

The funny thing is, as I cannot walk and of course climb the stairs, I have to stay in my wheelchair and see the movie from the first row, and I’m so close to the screen, I feel like I’m in the movie haha.

Anyway, I’m really in good mood because even if I hate winter, it smells Xmas ^_^ and I love Christmas !!

The only problem is, as I stay in my room all the day, and I go out rarely, I’m pretty bored. Of course I have many DVDs to watch, many books to read, Internet, but, I don’t know …
I watch TV and DVDs a lot (I’m watching again all the Sex & The City episodes, I love that show so much, Carrie Bradshow rocks!!), but all the day it’s really boring. About Internet, it’s cool like 2 hours, but as most of my friends are offline during the day because they work, I cannot speak so much. I have to read more, but the problem is, since my surgery, when I open a book, I fall asleep in 5 minutes anytime. I’ve started a book from Agatha Christie, it looks really good and I absolutely want to finish it quickly.

Fortunately, lots of friends visit me and call me and it really makes my day!!

Thanks to Eva’s advices, I bought a computer program to learn Spanish, I took a look and it really looks efficient, but I also want to buy a book, because I have a pretty bad memory (you know, like the fish in the movie Finding Nemo haha), so I would like to review the vocabulary on a real support. I also got many Spanish songs from Calle 13, Babasonicos, Julieta Venegas, Ojos de Brujo, Silvio Rodriguez … I’ve started listening to them, and I like them!
I’m very motivated to learn Spanish! Thank you Eva for motivating me and for all your advices. I’m crossing my fingers strongly to meet you in Paris (hopefully) soon!!

I’m also so happy because my lovely friend Gregory (from Martinique), whom I met in NYC, is coming to Paris at the end of December, he’s so cool!! I haven’t seen him for almost 2 years, and I really do miss him!

One of my hobby is to collect Pullips (that's special japanese dolls). I may write another post about that later. Anyway, I'm so excited, because I've ordered a new one online from an american store, its name is Haute Pullip in New York, it looks so cool! It's a limited edition of 500!!
Here is its description (from the online store) : "That doll comes with casual outfit, dress outfit, casual handbag, dress handbag, hat, sandals, Metro Card, dog, bracelets, sunglasses and stand. Her hair is a dark green, pulled back in 2 ponytails just behind her ears upon arrival to you!!!"
I'm such lookin' forward to getting it! Here are few photos :

OK, for those who read all this post, congrats to u, you’re brave!!! Hope I didn’t complain too much.

Before leaving, check it out : http://www.chamane-art.com/

That’s my cousin’s website, he launched his own company, he sells elfic post cards that he drew himself. They are really beautiful, they are big, and I don’t think it’s expensive (2€/a post card). I’m so proud of him, and he’s really talented! Here are few post cards he drew: